cocktails, drinking, recipes, spirits

The Dickbird, The Inverted Dickbird, and the Stirred Inverted Dickhead (Recipe)

The Dickbird was one of my earliest original recipes, named after one of my coworker’s favorite insults for other coworkers. we worked at a tiki bar so it was my first attempt at a fake tiki drink, which is kinda repetitive i guess since ‘tiki’ is pretty much entirely cultural appropriation and awful mid-century fakery. so, uh, yeah, tiki’s pretty racist a lot of the time and our bar was not really an exception.

in my notebook i had two recipes for The Dickbird with slight differences in the juice and garnishes. i prefer the taste of the latter but the garnish on the first one probably looks better. the main thing is that it’s supposed to be juicy and savory with a garnish that looks sorta like a bird’s plumage that could also look kinda like a dick.

The Dickbird #1
1 handful of smacked basil (as in, get a handful of basil and slap it once or twice with your other hand)
1 oz. lime juice
1 sugar cube

[muddle]

1 barspoon cold-pressed pineapple juice
1 barspoon Amaretto
1 ½ oz. Famous Grouse
½ oz. reposado tequila

[shake]

Pour into a grand service glass with another handful of smacked basil at the bottom
Top with crushed ice

[swizzle]

Top with a floater of:
¼ oz. Cherry Heering
¼ oz. Angostura bitters
1 barspoon Gosling’s 151

garnish with a pineapple stalk and two brandied cherries, forming the unique plumage of the Dickbird

The Dickbird #2
1 handful of smacked basil
¾ oz. Lime juice
¾ oz. Pineapple juice
1 barspoon passionfruit syrup
1 barspoon Amaretto
2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
1 ½ oz. Famous Grouse
½ oz. reposado tequila

[shake]

Pour into a grand service glass
Top with crushed ice

[swizzle]

Top with a floater of:
½ oz. Cherry Heering
1 barspoon mezcal
1 barspoon Angostura bitters

Garnish with a mint spring and two brandied cherries, forming the unique plumage of the Dickbird

The Inverted Dickbird was for guests who wanted a Dickbird but preferred tequila to scotch. it’s a little simpler aside from the garnish, which requires making an ice nest/bowl by putting crushed ice in a citrus press.

The Inverted Dickbird
1 handful of smacked mint
1 oz. lime juice
½ oz. guava syrup
1 ½ oz. reposado tequila
½ oz. scotch
½ oz Cherry Heering

[shake]

Top with crushed ice

[swizzle]

Top with a floater of:
2 barspoons Campari
2 barspoons Aperol
2 dashes Angostura bitters
2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters

Garnish with brandied cherries in an ice nest

by the time i got to inventing The Stirred Inverted Dickbird, i was just trying to be kind of a dick by making a drink that would be a huge hassle so that if any of my guests/regulars came in and requested it from one of my co-workers they’d have a hell of a time making it, sort of like a prank from beyond the grave/shift (this will be a recurring theme of my recipes).

The Stirred Inverted Dickbird
1 sugar cube
2 dashes Angostura bitters

[muddle]

1 barspoon amaretto
1 barspoon sambuca
3 barspoons midori
½ oz. sweet vermouth
½ oz grape manischewitz
½ oz. and 1 barspoon of sherry vinegar
½ oz. reposado tequila
1 ½ oz. scotch
Top with cubed ice

[stir]

Strain into a Nick & Nora

[image By Domenico Salvagnin from Legnaro, Italy – Bird of Paradise, CC BY 2.0]

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