wine review! 2016 19 Crimes Red Wine

god this one is extra racist. crazy how often genocide is used to sell wine.

the label is all about a bunch of colonial bullshit that tries to play up the colonization of Australia as some sort of rough-n-tumble rugged individualist garbage reflected in the wine itself. the marketing copy on the back pretty much covers the entire ‘asshole white colonial murderers as rebellious outsiders’ bingo card.


20180207_160621320629378.jpgNineteen crimes turned criminals into colonists. Upon conviction, British rogues, guilty of at least one of the 19 crimes, were sentenced to live in Australia, rather than death. This punishment by ‘transportation’ began in 1788, and many of the lawless died at sea. For the rough-hewn prisoners who made it to shore, a new world awaited.

As pioneers in a frontier penal colony, they forged a new country and new lives, brick by brick. This wine celebrates the rules they broke and the culture they built.

jesus fucking christ this is some whitewashing bullshit. i bought this because it was cheap and had a kind of neat looking black bottle but if i had read all this beforehand i defo wouldn’t have gotten it. even without tasting it i kind of hate this wine and hope whoever made it (and ~especially~ whoever wrote the back label) gets stabbed in the fuckin’ face with their own trash bottles.

i tried to look up more about the assholes who made this but their shitty website is broken so you can’t get past the age check.



alcohol on the first nose, then cloyingly sweet (being generous you might say ‘jammy’), and finally a relatively satisfying finish; it tastes so boozy that the end of it has a bit of heat that cleans up the almost sickly introduction.

the liquid gets 2.5/5 but the label gets like, -10000, so, all in all not a great bit of booze. i might wash the labels off and put flowers in the bottle though, because it is a nice black color.

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